No matter how large and how wealthy your family is, when a death occurs, people will automatically switch their money/heritage radar on.
The whole story/realisation started when my grand-mother passed away about a month ago.
When she was still around, people don't show any interest in making her happy, even if it is only to come by whenever they go out. Now that she's gone, miraculously, people get extremely dedicated to the point of wanting to manage everything. And by everything, I mean, mostly financial aspects. Moreover, I don't believe in people who cry their eyes out and wasting Kleenexes. What is the point to cry now that she's not here? Wouldn't it be more logical to have done more while she was still able to enjoy???
Pffffff!!!! Anyway, in my opinion. they all should get an Oscar. Seriously! I would personally nominate them. *Disgusted*
1.10.13
21.8.13
Babies Better Than "Adult Babies"
Life is too short for you to endure poop or any sorts of disgusting substances thrown at you by others. Do not put yourself in a situation where you feel like a piece of nothing. You are not inferior to anyone and nor do you deserve to be treated like a violently-chewed-left-over chicken leg. If you're not happy with one tiny little thing...DO SOMETHING and FAST.
My new point-of-view: workplace environment and colleagues fill the greatest part of your life. It is a place where you spend more time than any other places, including your house; and they are people whom you see more often than any other people, including your family.
Let me tell you that it is terribly difficult, if not impossible, to work with people who think they're the best, but actually do nothing; people of no help whenever you ask them something; people who are negative and complain all day; people who don't recognize your work; and people with no work ethics.
If your nose is stuck on your cellphone screen 24/7, I honestly cannot believe you haven't seen my email. My interpretation for this, either you don't want to deal with it, don't know how to solve it, want to let me rot, or all of the above.
I also can't accept the fact that the person who gets the big buck tries to run away (literally running away like a lost chicken afraid to get the head chopped off) or tell me she'll get back to me in an hour, but never do. What happened to being a responsable person and do your effing job? Isn't this the reason why you get paid?
Anyway. I've made up my mind...I want happiness and no one is allowed to tell me I don't deserve it.
Unfortunately, I have to say byebye to my good fellows. Y'know, it's so frustrating to leave a wonderful place because of one or two cockroaches!!! Why can't we just throw them out (I'd like to kill, but I'm not ready to spend the rest of my life in jail yet) and make all human beings happy???
My new point-of-view: workplace environment and colleagues fill the greatest part of your life. It is a place where you spend more time than any other places, including your house; and they are people whom you see more often than any other people, including your family.
Let me tell you that it is terribly difficult, if not impossible, to work with people who think they're the best, but actually do nothing; people of no help whenever you ask them something; people who are negative and complain all day; people who don't recognize your work; and people with no work ethics.
If your nose is stuck on your cellphone screen 24/7, I honestly cannot believe you haven't seen my email. My interpretation for this, either you don't want to deal with it, don't know how to solve it, want to let me rot, or all of the above.
I also can't accept the fact that the person who gets the big buck tries to run away (literally running away like a lost chicken afraid to get the head chopped off) or tell me she'll get back to me in an hour, but never do. What happened to being a responsable person and do your effing job? Isn't this the reason why you get paid?
Anyway. I've made up my mind...I want happiness and no one is allowed to tell me I don't deserve it.
Unfortunately, I have to say byebye to my good fellows. Y'know, it's so frustrating to leave a wonderful place because of one or two cockroaches!!! Why can't we just throw them out (I'd like to kill, but I'm not ready to spend the rest of my life in jail yet) and make all human beings happy???
6.8.13
No Babies Allowed In My Life
Once again, I started in a new department (obstetric/gynecology 2 weeks ago) in order to try something new and hoping to finally find MY place. The result of this trial is rather deceiving.
Y'know, when you hope to find a better place, but that other place is a bigger mess and much more unorganized? Well~ I feel like fallen into a trap, so now I'm fighting with all my energy trying to climb back up. BUT...*sigh* this place might not be made for me...
Having to meet people for an anti-social person is hard.
Having to work with a lazy-nonstop-talking person is hard.
Having to modify my work two hundred millions times per day is hard.
Having no orientation or information in bits and pieces is hard.
Having to speak baby language is hard.
I'm starting to think that I should reconsider and do what I like (the OR) instead of putting too great of an attention on whom I'm working with. At the end of the day, I don't have to be friends with those people, right?
Lets go back to 'comfort zone!'
Y'know, when you hope to find a better place, but that other place is a bigger mess and much more unorganized? Well~ I feel like fallen into a trap, so now I'm fighting with all my energy trying to climb back up. BUT...*sigh* this place might not be made for me...
Having to meet people for an anti-social person is hard.
Having to work with a lazy-nonstop-talking person is hard.
Having to modify my work two hundred millions times per day is hard.
Having no orientation or information in bits and pieces is hard.
Having to speak baby language is hard.
I'm starting to think that I should reconsider and do what I like (the OR) instead of putting too great of an attention on whom I'm working with. At the end of the day, I don't have to be friends with those people, right?
Lets go back to 'comfort zone!'
10.7.13
Unpredictable
Life is something you can't foresee...and that is no matter how hard you try. Crystal balls, palm reading, tarot cards, and whatever techniques you may think of, are only tricks. There are no scientific proofs to demonstrate their accuracy.
If you can't rely on any tools to predict your future, why not make your own decisions based on your own knowledge or instinct; and start trusting yourself? At least you won't be letting those stuffs control your faith/love life/career. Make yourself the only person you count on; or blame, if anything goes wrong.
It may seem easy to say, but to actually do it, it's a complete other story. The hardest part of it all... is to confront the unknown.
Despite the uncertainty, no matter what decision I make, I dare not do bad things, because I am a person who believes in karma. I believe that every good action I do, will eventually pay-off one day. (This may be the reason why I think so much and do so little. I am scared to fail myself. I am scared to disappoint people I love. Failure is frightening.) On the other hand, those who do bad things, may be people who don't believe in karma.
Well~ You think karma doesn't exist, because you're not there to witness people surfer their karma. The only thing is, you never know when and how it'll come to you.
You, not knowing (don't forget human beings are still very ignorant on a lot of subjects), doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
If you can't rely on any tools to predict your future, why not make your own decisions based on your own knowledge or instinct; and start trusting yourself? At least you won't be letting those stuffs control your faith/love life/career. Make yourself the only person you count on; or blame, if anything goes wrong.
It may seem easy to say, but to actually do it, it's a complete other story. The hardest part of it all... is to confront the unknown.
Despite the uncertainty, no matter what decision I make, I dare not do bad things, because I am a person who believes in karma. I believe that every good action I do, will eventually pay-off one day. (This may be the reason why I think so much and do so little. I am scared to fail myself. I am scared to disappoint people I love. Failure is frightening.) On the other hand, those who do bad things, may be people who don't believe in karma.
Well~ You think karma doesn't exist, because you're not there to witness people surfer their karma. The only thing is, you never know when and how it'll come to you.
You, not knowing (don't forget human beings are still very ignorant on a lot of subjects), doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
3.7.13
Disorders
Now that I think of it...it is not quite fair for a teacher to grade a student (like myself) who's suffering from Anomic Aphasia and Dischronation. No wonder I didn't do good in History classes. It is not my fault if I can't associate names with faces and don't understand the succession and duration of events.
I should go back to school and ask for a grade adjustment.
I should go back to school and ask for a grade adjustment.
Prosopagnosia
After watching Faces in the Crowd, starring Milla Jovovich...you'll see yourself interested by the Prosopagnosia disorder.
In Greek "prosopon" = face, and "agnosia" = not knowing...aka Face Blindness.
Can you imagine yourself not recognizing your own reflection? Each time you see your very own face in the mirror, it is like looking at a complete stranger...not to mention your family and friends.
The worst thing for me, would be, not to be able to watch movies like a normal person anymore, because characters faces will keep changing, so the story won't make any sense. *trembling in fear*
I guess my worries are not as great importance as Milla's, in the movie. The killer could literally be standing right in front of her and she won't even know. *GASP*
16.6.13
Back To Ground Zero
Last week, I made the decision to step outside of the demoralizing office and try something new...accept the shopper position.
I did like the whole idea of the job. It was quite different, interesting and challenging.
The only problem I had was the physical demand. I am not saying that I'm weak, but this is genuinely a man's job. Lifting gigantic and heavy boxes' definitely not for a little woman like myself. (Not going to start debating on equality between men and women)
*Sigh* Here is me declining the offer and going back to my old position (tomorrow). *deep breath* Yay! Lets go back and get that you-are-such-a-loser look. Am I exaggerating? No. Not at all. Some people already gave me the speech about how they are going to make my life miserable from now on.
Well~ What do you expect me to say and react? Start crying and quit? Or start bitching?
I am a well educated person. I am not doing none of these non-sense. Moreover, I am not a quitter, so I'll tough this through and make sure that you admit you've under-estimated me from day one.
Hey! No matter what you say behind my back, at least I've tried, I'm being honest with myself and have nothing to regret.
Afterall, the key to success is ambition.
I did like the whole idea of the job. It was quite different, interesting and challenging.
The only problem I had was the physical demand. I am not saying that I'm weak, but this is genuinely a man's job. Lifting gigantic and heavy boxes' definitely not for a little woman like myself. (Not going to start debating on equality between men and women)
*Sigh* Here is me declining the offer and going back to my old position (tomorrow). *deep breath* Yay! Lets go back and get that you-are-such-a-loser look. Am I exaggerating? No. Not at all. Some people already gave me the speech about how they are going to make my life miserable from now on.
Well~ What do you expect me to say and react? Start crying and quit? Or start bitching?
I am a well educated person. I am not doing none of these non-sense. Moreover, I am not a quitter, so I'll tough this through and make sure that you admit you've under-estimated me from day one.
Hey! No matter what you say behind my back, at least I've tried, I'm being honest with myself and have nothing to regret.
Afterall, the key to success is ambition.
10.6.13
Making The Right Decision
As you all already know, I want out of here so badly that I would genuinely do anything...anything in my power, but nothing illegal. XD
I'm in such misery right now that I would jump on the first opportunity thrown to my face.
And this is what's happening RIGHT NOW. I've been offered to do another position, but is it the right one to take? Or should I be patient? After this hell hole, I've become paranoid. I'm doubting every decision I make...wondering if it's the best.
Anyway. Whatever I say, I still took the chance to try something else and work with better people. *crossing fingers* I will allow myself a 20 days trial and see how it goes. Worst case scenario, I'll look for something else.
It is better to try and accept our own mistake than keep wondering "what if..."
I'm in such misery right now that I would jump on the first opportunity thrown to my face.
And this is what's happening RIGHT NOW. I've been offered to do another position, but is it the right one to take? Or should I be patient? After this hell hole, I've become paranoid. I'm doubting every decision I make...wondering if it's the best.
Anyway. Whatever I say, I still took the chance to try something else and work with better people. *crossing fingers* I will allow myself a 20 days trial and see how it goes. Worst case scenario, I'll look for something else.
It is better to try and accept our own mistake than keep wondering "what if..."
24.5.13
Black Hole
This black whole is bigger, deeper and blacker than the one they taught you at school. Moreover, it will suck you in indefinitely...you just won't have a chance to get out. Pray for Miracle to happen is the only thing you can do.
The atmosphere/vibe is utterly negative...how do you expect me to be motivated? It is psychologically impossible.
They talk non-stop (or is it more "complain continuously" to make it politically correct) to each other and I'm the one being ignored. I do my effort and try to start a conversation, but only short answers were given back. But the same subject, brought up by someone else, more details were thrown in the air. WTF!?! At some point, I feel as if they don't want to talk to me or we are having a generation gap (option 2 is more likely, isn't it?), so I'm giving up. I do my work, the best I can, and go home.
Also, I am never invited to their secret little meetings (not that I want and insist on going, but it'll be nice to know that I count for something). Basically, I'm just a meaningless bouche trou. I feel left out, if y'know what I mean.
When you try to be at the top of your game, that's when these evil people will do whatever it takes to hold you down and make you feel like rubbish...which I do at this instance.
Beside making you feel like you're worth nothing, either they don't know how to train someone (Seriously, if you are not satisfied with the other person's performance/way of working, shouldn't you not let that person train me? Isn't it obvious that I will do the work the way I was shown?) or purposely withold information in order to dig a hole for you to fall.
Here, again, it demonstrates how it makes impossible to do a good job...the information given was wrong or insufficient.
Siiiiiigh!!!!! It will never get better, unless they are ready to see me as a teamplayer. My word.
The atmosphere/vibe is utterly negative...how do you expect me to be motivated? It is psychologically impossible.
They talk non-stop (or is it more "complain continuously" to make it politically correct) to each other and I'm the one being ignored. I do my effort and try to start a conversation, but only short answers were given back. But the same subject, brought up by someone else, more details were thrown in the air. WTF!?! At some point, I feel as if they don't want to talk to me or we are having a generation gap (option 2 is more likely, isn't it?), so I'm giving up. I do my work, the best I can, and go home.
Also, I am never invited to their secret little meetings (not that I want and insist on going, but it'll be nice to know that I count for something). Basically, I'm just a meaningless bouche trou. I feel left out, if y'know what I mean.
When you try to be at the top of your game, that's when these evil people will do whatever it takes to hold you down and make you feel like rubbish...which I do at this instance.
Beside making you feel like you're worth nothing, either they don't know how to train someone (Seriously, if you are not satisfied with the other person's performance/way of working, shouldn't you not let that person train me? Isn't it obvious that I will do the work the way I was shown?) or purposely withold information in order to dig a hole for you to fall.
Here, again, it demonstrates how it makes impossible to do a good job...the information given was wrong or insufficient.
Siiiiiigh!!!!! It will never get better, unless they are ready to see me as a teamplayer. My word.
15.5.13
Falling Apart
Everything in my life seem to be falling apart.
(I should maybe rename my blog and call it "Shit Corner.")
1- Because of my aunt, I went to a blind date and encountered a not-too-bad looking guy. But he either likes to 'ttyl' people or is not interested (well, neither am I, but at least I have the courtesy to answer my text messages).
2- At work. Pffffff Do I have to mention that it is a complete mess? After the so-call training, I am doing her position for the last month (without getting her salary) and still not sure when I can get back to the position I applied for in the first place.
3- How is it possible not to replace a person who's on vacation? Now, everything falls on me. In other words, I am doing two positions without getting a double pay and/or overtime.
4- Today, it's even a greater joke. That person is still on vacation and another called sick. What's the result? Well~ The one on vacation is obviously not replaced and the one who is sick was replaced by a person who's never been trained. HAHAHAHAH!!! Not only have I spent an hour waiting until someone comes in, but also wasted an hour to show the basics to that newbee.
If you ask me how I like my new job? I would honestly tell you that I'm not too thrilled about it. Nothing is fair. I'm fed up. FED UP.
(I should maybe rename my blog and call it "Shit Corner.")
1- Because of my aunt, I went to a blind date and encountered a not-too-bad looking guy. But he either likes to 'ttyl' people or is not interested (well, neither am I, but at least I have the courtesy to answer my text messages).
2- At work. Pffffff Do I have to mention that it is a complete mess? After the so-call training, I am doing her position for the last month (without getting her salary) and still not sure when I can get back to the position I applied for in the first place.
3- How is it possible not to replace a person who's on vacation? Now, everything falls on me. In other words, I am doing two positions without getting a double pay and/or overtime.
4- Today, it's even a greater joke. That person is still on vacation and another called sick. What's the result? Well~ The one on vacation is obviously not replaced and the one who is sick was replaced by a person who's never been trained. HAHAHAHAH!!! Not only have I spent an hour waiting until someone comes in, but also wasted an hour to show the basics to that newbee.
If you ask me how I like my new job? I would honestly tell you that I'm not too thrilled about it. Nothing is fair. I'm fed up. FED UP.
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