20.2.13

Mid-life Crisis

...or is it menopause slapping on my face?

If it's mid-life, then my life is not going to be very long is it?

Ayaaa!!!!

Comparing myself to other people of the same age, I've absolutely accomplished NOTHING. No career, no family, no car, no house, etc.

All I am is a lost soul floating in a Hospital...literally floating (my title is Administrative Agent/permanent float).

People around me try to cheer me up and keep me as positive as possible. They encourage me by saying how it is more convenient to live with my parents, so I can use the opportunity to save more money, and eventually move out; save more money and I travel while I can; it doesn't matter not to have a boyfriend, because I have them by my side; be patient and my chance will come at work.

Do you really think that I don't already know this? I try to convince myself to believe in these sayings and it is challenging. At the moment, all I truly want is a permanent and stable position with a better pay/something I deserve. I don't understand why companies put a higher emphasis on seniority than competence. In other words (if you have kids or planning to have kids), get their effing butt to work at the earliest age possible. A bachelor degree is not as valuable as it used to be. I'm the best example you can get. I keep applying for positions that I'm fully qualified (or even over-qualified), but no luck. I'm not even on their list of considerations, because I'm still too new. Seriously!?! When will someone finally open their eyes and see how much potentiel I have?

Siiigh!!! If I don't get a better position, I may consider looking somewhere else. I can't waste my entire life, here, hoping that one day miracle will hit on me. Afterall, I will never get to my second step (buying a house) if I can't earn a better paycheck.

So lets establish a plan and follow it:
    1. Get a better job/a higher income
    2. Get my driver's license
    3. Get my own nest
    4. Well~ The husband is not a necessity anymore.

I must follow the plan, but I definitely need to accelerate my pace if I want to get everything before I go to Heaven.