Hate Myself For Hating My Family

Normally I don't, but I'm not sure if I'm in menopause or anything...lately I have lots of ups & downs.

Here are my thoughts speaking through my emotions, which I clearly don't have the courage to say them out loud.

Hate my aunt 1: Why do you always think that you're implied in all of my projects? Why have your opinion on everything? Why give me advices eventhough I didn't ask for anything? Why want to know everything in my life? Can't I have some privacy? Why does it have to be thanks-to-you whenever things turn out good???

Hate my aunt 2: Why always asking me questions on my job and compare me with others? Do I look like if I care that your friend's children have a high paid job and extraordinary benefits? Why always ask me questions on my investments and retirement plans? Is it wrong to not have any for now? I like to live my life as it is for the moment...I'll have plenty of time to worry about those things when I get older and when I feel that I need to. Why insist that I should use my credit card instead of cash? Why forbid me from buying CDs and DVDs? Why always give me lessons on life? Do you think you live a remarkably better life than me to do so???

Hate my grandma: Why am I the only person she asks for favors? (beside asking sis to go to the bank) Is it too hard...why can't you understand that I don't like and don't want to copy DVDs? I am the kind of person who is pro copyright...it is illegal in all and every angles to violate that. Jeeez!!! Give some credits to the people who work hard to gain their life in the entertainment industry.

Hate my sister: I'm always thinking about you and caring about you, but sometimes I have this strange feeling that it's not mutual (deep down in my conscience I know that it's not true). For example, I organize a wonderful day for your birthday each year (yah it's mine too if you haven't notice it yet), why isn't it the other way arround? Why haven't you thought about doing it once for me? And this year, you have to go away with your beloved-sweet-precious boyfriend, so I have to reschedule the whole plan. If you do care, SHOW it for Goddess' sake.

Hate my father: Well, it'll be a big step if only you could be more independent and be less annoying. Start taking your stuffs in hand and stop relying on mama and me. We can't be there each time you need something. Grow up!!! There are lots of things which I'm 100% sure you can do yourself. Oh! And stop treating me like I'm 5, because I'm NOT. This may sound rude, but too bad if you missed my childhood.

Hate my mother: You're just too soft. People can easily take advantage of you. So, listen to me when I tell you the reality, but noooo, there seems to have a block out. All I want is the best for you...and let me tell you that you deserve more than what you have right now.

Hate myself: For holding on so much grudge and anger.