For The Better

The year of 2011 was definitely a low in my life. The year of 2013, so far, was some sort of redemption. I hope the year of 2014 and so on will only peak with good news.

Up until now, I managed to find myself a spot in the hospital...where I belong at the moment (I would like to work in the surgery or morgue department to fulfill my all-time desire to become a medical examiner/medical investigator). For sure, not everything's perfect (especially the co-worker of mine who doesn't seem to have a mute or power-off button), but I can certainly deal with it. At least in this department I get acknowledged...my boss see the effort I give and the work I do.

In the upcoming years, I would also like to get some improvement in my clothing style. After being brainwashed by Dr Hunt, I think I start to fancy highheels...more ankle boots in my case.

To finish this post, I would like to add that I will try to be more outgoing. Yes. That's definitely one of my 2014 resolutions. [How long can I keep this? Gawd knows.]

2013 Xmas Wishlist

This year's Xmas wishlist is short and simple...just a little more expensive than usual. I hope I've been good enough for Santa to make my wish come true.

Tiffany & Co.
    - Notes ring, wide - 275$
    - Paloma Picasso Hammered ring - 165$
    - Elsa Peretti Wave Five-row ring - 470$
    - Somerset ring, wide - 330$
    - Paloma Picasso Olive Leaf ring - 275$

Dr. Martens
    - Delaney - 85$
    - 2976 - 120$
    - 1461-C2B - 120$
    - Harlen - 140$
    - 1461 womens - 110$

RayBan
    - Aviator blue flash lenses - 200$
    - Aviator orange flash lenses - 200$

UGG
Butte - 255$

Apple
Ipad mini or Ipad air - 400$

Movado
Bold - 500$

A B C's whishlist: An aquarium filter.

喜事

Despite the boring routine life I'm breathing through 365 days a year...it is always good to have something positive around the corner, which is worth the wait.

MY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED NEXT YEAR!!!

PS: Although, I am very jealous and feel utterly lonely, I am still extremely happy for her. She's finally building her own family with the man she loves. Awwwww!!! So sweet~

Anyway. This announcement is also bringing a little excitement into my life, because I have to help planning the day. Y'know~ The feel of imporatance and needed is GRRRREAT. Seriously, can't wait till that day.

Note: I won't be the lead of that night, but I'll certainly nail the supporting role. Sigh!!! *wondering when I'll be able to get the lead role...some times before I die, I hope*

We Are Not The Same

Lately, I've been attending quite a few meetings and conferences, which after so, I came to a realization...

Eventhough all these people are in the same room "looking/pretending" like they share the same interest, but they actually don't. You want to know what I saw today? People arriving late, people going straight to the food table, people talking among themselves, people texting, people constantly looking at the time, and people coming in and out the room.

WTH?!? The topic was so interesting that I was trying to concentrate, but NO~ these people were making so much noise, it was impossible to follow. Anyway, why show up if you are not there to listen? Okay. You may need to be there to get credits, well~ show some respect to the person standing in the fron!!!

The point is...sit in the front if you really want to hear and understand something.

HK & Euro Alliance

Looks like there is a weddingboom in the world. Everyone around me is getting married and having babies. What am I doing still single? Neh! Whatever, I'm happy that way (am I really or just trying to convince myself?), so... Let's move on.

An interesting observation of mine: there are more and more Asian-Caucasian reunion. Why? My theory is that (generally speaking) they are better looking, have better taste and are sweeter. *period*

Gigi Leung & Sergio (Spaniard) 4 million wedding

Karen Mok & Johannes (German)

Kathy Chow & Julien (French) 20 million wedding

Michelle Yeoh and Jean Todt (French)

Please

The word "please" is very important and highly dangerous...it all depends if you know how to use it correctly and wisely.

I am definitely the kind of person who knows how to use it correctly, but certainly not wisely.

Let me explain. As a well educated/polite person, I surely know when to say please and thank you, not a problem. But, there are others who will abuse the magic of the word, use it as an all access pass...just say the word and her job is magically done, because I end up doing it.

Thus, she would have time to talk to people or on private calls for hours; walk around to change ideas, and her work will still be perfectly done on time.

At the meantime, I am glued to my chair to work my arse off.

So, each time she calls my name and say the word, I simply want to put all the energy I have into my right hand and slap her real hard so her teeth would break out of her jaw, then maybe~ she wouldn't be able to speak anymore?!?

PS. Don't ask me!!! How can I possibly know if you are the one who is getting a higher salary and been sitting in this office longer than me, don't know?

Family Drama

No matter how large and how wealthy your family is, when a death occurs, people will automatically switch their money/heritage radar on.

The whole story/realisation started when my grand-mother passed away about a month ago.

When she was still around, people don't show any interest in making her happy, even if it is only to come by whenever they go out. Now that she's gone, miraculously, people get extremely dedicated to the point of wanting to manage everything. And by everything, I mean, mostly financial aspects. Moreover, I don't believe in people who cry their eyes out and wasting Kleenexes. What is the point to cry now that she's not here? Wouldn't it be more logical to have done more while she was still able to enjoy???

Pffffff!!!! Anyway, in my opinion. they all should get an Oscar. Seriously! I would personally nominate them. *Disgusted*

Babies Better Than "Adult Babies"

Life is too short for you to endure poop or any sorts of disgusting substances thrown at you by others. Do not put yourself in a situation where you feel like a piece of nothing. You are not inferior to anyone and nor do you deserve to be treated like a violently-chewed-left-over chicken leg. If you're not happy with one tiny little thing...DO SOMETHING and FAST.

My new point-of-view: workplace environment and colleagues fill the greatest part of your life. It is a place where you spend more time than any other places, including your house; and they are people whom you see more often than any other people, including your family.

Let me tell you that it is terribly difficult, if not impossible, to work with people who think they're the best, but actually do nothing; people of no help whenever you ask them something; people who are negative and complain all day; people who don't recognize your work; and people with no work ethics.

If your nose is stuck on your cellphone screen 24/7, I honestly cannot believe you haven't seen my email. My interpretation for this, either you don't want to deal with it, don't know how to solve it, want to let me rot, or all of the above.

I also can't accept the fact that the person who gets the big buck tries to run away (literally running away like a lost chicken afraid to get the head chopped off) or tell me she'll get back to me in an hour, but never do. What happened to being a responsable person and do your effing job? Isn't this the reason why you get paid?

Anyway. I've made up my mind...I want happiness and no one is allowed to tell me I don't deserve it.

Unfortunately, I have to say byebye to my good fellows. Y'know, it's so frustrating to leave a wonderful place because of one or two cockroaches!!! Why can't we just throw them out (I'd like to kill, but I'm not ready to spend the rest of my life in jail yet) and make all human beings happy???

No Babies Allowed In My Life

Once again, I started in a new department (obstetric/gynecology 2 weeks ago) in order to try something new and hoping to finally find MY place. The result of this trial is rather deceiving.

Y'know, when you hope to find a better place, but that other place is a bigger mess and much more unorganized? Well~ I feel like fallen into a trap, so now I'm fighting with all my energy trying to climb back up. BUT...*sigh* this place might not be made for me...

Having to meet people for an anti-social person is hard.
Having to work with a lazy-nonstop-talking person is hard.
Having to modify my work two hundred millions times per day is hard.
Having no orientation or information in bits and pieces is hard.
Having to speak baby language is hard.

I'm starting to think that I should reconsider and do what I like (the OR) instead of putting too great of an attention on whom I'm working with. At the end of the day, I don't have to be friends with those people, right?

Lets go back to 'comfort zone!'

Unpredictable

Life is something you can't foresee...and that is no matter how hard you try. Crystal balls, palm reading, tarot cards, and whatever techniques you may think of, are only tricks. There are no scientific proofs to demonstrate their accuracy.

If you can't rely on any tools to predict your future, why not make your own decisions based on your own knowledge or instinct; and start trusting yourself? At least you won't be letting those stuffs control your faith/love life/career. Make yourself the only person you count on; or blame, if anything goes wrong.

It may seem easy to say, but to actually do it, it's a complete other story. The hardest part of it all... is to confront the unknown.

Despite the uncertainty, no matter what decision I make, I dare not do bad things, because I am a person who believes in karma. I believe that every good action I do, will eventually pay-off one day. (This may be the reason why I think so much and do so little. I am scared to fail myself. I am scared to disappoint people I love. Failure is frightening.) On the other hand, those who do bad things, may be people who don't believe in karma.

Well~ You think karma doesn't exist, because you're not there to witness people surfer their karma. The only thing is, you never know when and how it'll come to you.

You, not knowing (don't forget human beings are still very ignorant on a lot of subjects), doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Disorders

Now that I think of it...it is not quite fair for a teacher to grade a student (like myself) who's suffering from Anomic Aphasia and Dischronation. No wonder I didn't do good in History classes. It is not my fault if I can't associate names with faces and don't understand the succession and duration of events.

I should go back to school and ask for a grade adjustment.

Prosopagnosia

After watching Faces in the Crowd, starring Milla Jovovich...you'll see yourself interested by the Prosopagnosia disorder.

In Greek "prosopon" = face, and "agnosia" = not knowing...aka Face Blindness.

Can you imagine yourself not recognizing your own reflection? Each time you see your very own face in the mirror, it is like looking at a complete stranger...not to mention your family and friends.

The worst thing for me, would be, not to be able to watch movies like a normal person anymore, because characters faces will keep changing, so the story won't make any sense. *trembling in fear*

I guess my worries are not as great importance as Milla's, in the movie. The killer could literally be standing right in front of her and she won't even know. *GASP*

Back To Ground Zero

Last week, I made the decision to step outside of the demoralizing office and try something new...accept the shopper position.

I did like the whole idea of the job. It was quite different, interesting and challenging.

The only problem I had was the physical demand. I am not saying that I'm weak, but this is genuinely a man's job. Lifting gigantic and heavy boxes' definitely not for a little woman like myself. (Not going to start debating on equality between men and women)

*Sigh* Here is me declining the offer and going back to my old position (tomorrow). *deep breath* Yay! Lets go back and get that you-are-such-a-loser look. Am I exaggerating? No. Not at all. Some people already gave me the speech about how they are going to make my life miserable from now on.

Well~ What do you expect me to say and react? Start crying and quit? Or start bitching?

I am a well educated person. I am not doing none of these non-sense. Moreover, I am not a quitter, so I'll tough this through and make sure that you admit you've under-estimated me from day one.

Hey! No matter what you say behind my back, at least I've tried, I'm being honest with myself and have nothing to regret.

Afterall, the key to success is ambition.

Making The Right Decision

As you all already know, I want out of here so badly that I would genuinely do anything...anything in my power, but nothing illegal. XD

I'm in such misery right now that I would jump on the first opportunity thrown to my face.

And this is what's happening RIGHT NOW. I've been offered to do another position, but is it the right one to take? Or should I be patient? After this hell hole, I've become paranoid. I'm doubting every decision I make...wondering if it's the best.

Anyway. Whatever I say, I still took the chance to try something else and work with better people. *crossing fingers* I will allow myself a 20 days trial and see how it goes. Worst case scenario, I'll look for something else.

It is better to try and accept our own mistake than keep wondering "what if..."

Black Hole

This black whole is bigger, deeper and blacker than the one they taught you at school. Moreover, it will suck you in indefinitely...you just won't have a chance to get out. Pray for Miracle to happen is the only thing you can do.

The atmosphere/vibe is utterly negative...how do you expect me to be motivated? It is psychologically impossible.

They talk non-stop (or is it more "complain continuously" to make it politically correct) to each other and I'm the one being ignored. I do my effort and try to start a conversation, but only short answers were given back. But the same subject, brought up by someone else, more details were thrown in the air. WTF!?! At some point, I feel as if they don't want to talk to me or we are having a generation gap (option 2 is more likely, isn't it?), so I'm giving up. I do my work, the best I can, and go home.

Also, I am never invited to their secret little meetings (not that I want and insist on going, but it'll be nice to know that I count for something). Basically, I'm just a meaningless bouche trou. I feel left out, if y'know what I mean.

When you try to be at the top of your game, that's when these evil people will do whatever it takes to hold you down and make you feel like rubbish...which I do at this instance.

Beside making you feel like you're worth nothing, either they don't know how to train someone (Seriously, if you are not satisfied with the other person's performance/way of working, shouldn't you not let that person train me? Isn't it obvious that I will do the work the way I was shown?) or purposely withold information in order to dig a hole for you to fall.

Here, again, it demonstrates how it makes impossible to do a good job...the information given was wrong or insufficient.

Siiiiiigh!!!!! It will never get better, unless they are ready to see me as a teamplayer. My word.

Falling Apart

Everything in my life seem to be falling apart.

(I should maybe rename my blog and call it "Shit Corner.")

1- Because of my aunt, I went to a blind date and encountered a not-too-bad looking guy. But he either likes to 'ttyl' people or is not interested (well, neither am I, but at least I have the courtesy to answer my text messages).

2- At work. Pffffff Do I have to mention that it is a complete mess? After the so-call training, I am doing her position for the last month (without getting her salary) and still not sure when I can get back to the position I applied for in the first place.

3- How is it possible not to replace a person who's on vacation? Now, everything falls on me. In other words, I am doing two positions without getting a double pay and/or overtime.

4- Today, it's even a greater joke. That person is still on vacation and another called sick. What's the result? Well~ The one on vacation is obviously not replaced and the one who is sick was replaced by a person who's never been trained. HAHAHAHAH!!! Not only have I spent an hour waiting until someone comes in, but also wasted an hour to show the basics to that newbee.

If you ask me how I like my new job? I would honestly tell you that I'm not too thrilled about it. Nothing is fair. I'm fed up. FED UP.

Birthday Wishlist 2013

Well~ People who "knows" me, shouldn't even need to consult this post. Sigh!

Anyway. Just in case. We never know.

    * Richard Mille (limited edition) - Michelle Yeoh's RM051 Phoenix watch (replica)...you just won't find the original and even if you do, it'll be wayyyyy too expensive.
    * Burberry watch
    * DVDs
    * 金庸's 神鵰俠侶
    * Dr. Marten's
    * Faith Hill's signed mic

Thank you.

Dealing With Crap

Two weeks of horrible training, then...two weeks of I-dump-you-alone-so-deal-with-the-crap-yourself.

WTH!?! Quite honestly, it is not fair. It is not possible, even for the smartest human on earth, to learn everything correctly only by observing from the side, with minimal explanation.

For example, how am I suppose to create a fiscal year report if I've only seen it once? Ridiculous, isn't it?

Once an error occurs, it's "Oh! No no no! If this this this happens, you should this this this." Pffffff! Are you serious??? This should have been said during the training, not when I'm struggling to do the job and a tiny little thing goes wrong. Can people think before blaming someone? Is there any common sense? Well~ No~~~

Oh! And what does it mean "we will switch places whenever I'm fed-up"? Euh...I didn't apply for YOUR position and I am certainly not earning the same salary as you are.

Whatever. I give up. I'm just like a prisoner who does her time and get out.

20 Most Hated Celebrities in Hollywood

Star magazine calculated the 20 Most Hated Celebrities in Hollywood and I am shocked to see that Anne Hathaway and Katherine Heigl is on the top of everyone's sh*t list!!! (even before Lindsay Lohan and Jesse James and Chris Brown?) This list is not very fair nor accurate. I would have KStew on the throne, followed by Lindsay Lohan and Justin Bieber.

The rest is less difficult to understand, but why isn't Robert Pattinson's name in??? And where is Kat Von D? Anyway...........

20. Chris Brown
19. Jesse James
18. Taylor Swift
17. Shia LaBeouf
16. Lindsay Lohan
15. Angelina Jolie
14. Jay Leno
13. Ashton Kutcher
12. LeAnn Rimes
10 and 11. Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian
9. Anne Hathaway
8. Justin Bieber
7. Madonna
6. Matt Lauer
5. Katherine Heigl
4. John Mayer
3. Jennifer Lopez
2. Kristen Stewart
1. Gwyneth Paltrow

龔慈恩 - 聶小鳳 [雪花神劍]

 

 

She is the new villainess to make it into my favorites. Nothing more attractive than a terribly sad story, extreme smartness, frightening power and goddess appearance.

Telling you. 聶小鳳 [雪花神劍] is the best character 龔慈恩 ever portrayed. (in my opinion) Her cold and I-always-have-so-much-to-think-of look is soul captivating. It cannot, under any circumstances, be compared to those innocent and immature roles.

 

OMG! Have you seen how cute the kids are? THAT is how important good genes are.

Seriously, if I can look this fabulous at the age of 49, I'd have nothing to complain about.

Note: Apparently, she spents 16 000$CAD/month on her kids, only for their tuition fees. So you do the math by adding food, shelter, and clothing. Crazy~

Note 2: Her name is literally a combination of my sister's and mine.

Best VS Worst Celebrity Ads

You would think, rich people must have great tastes and know how to spend their money wisely. Pffffffff!!! Not entirely true in all cases.

Lets just talk about the Marketing industry. Companies invest a remarkable amount to hire celebrities to be the face of their product...to represent their brand. Some of them are smart enough to make the final result worth the total to be paid on the bill. While others, you would feel that they have too much money and don't have a clue how to spend it, so just randomly pick an artist.

*THUMBS UP*...*HEART*
Dior: Charlize Theron

Dior: Monica Bellucci

Chanel No5: Nicole Kidman

Roberto Cavalli: Milla Jovovich

Bvlgari: Julianne Moore

Smart Water: Jennifer Aniston

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*THUMBS DOWN*...*PUKE*
Dolce & Gabbana: Madonna

Balenciaga: Kristen Stewart (this is the biggest fail of Balenciaga's history)

Dior: Mila Kunis (not that she's not good, but just doesn't match the brand)

Marc Jacobs: Dakota Fanning (Oh, Lola!? I would rather say "Oh lala!"

I'm sure there are more, from both categories, but on top of my head, I can only come up with these.

Favorite Disney Characters

Despite the fact that I have a huge preference for villains and villainesses, I do have favorite main characters.

Nala (Lion King)

Jasmine (Aladdin)

Well~  I should probably tell you, at the same time, who is the one I utterly HATE.

Snow White (Snow White)

How can a person be that innocently-stupid and ugly?!?

Favorite Disney Villains

With this Disney-fever (all the spin-offs and remakes) going around the entertainment industry, I can't help myself for writting a post on Disney-related.

I have always liked villains better than the Oh-I-am-so-weak-and-innocent main characters. No need to mention that they are more realistic, and most of the times, they have a good reason to be the way they are. I totally understand and have compassion.

Scar (Lion King) - doesn't want to lose against someone who's just lucky to born in the right family and inherit the throne, richness, power, and respect.

Ursula (Little Mermaid) - just wants beauty.

Jafar & Jasmine (Aladdin) - anything for supreme power.

Cruella (101 Dalmatians) - fashion is everything.

Fears & Worries

Fears and worries have their own definition. But at this very moment, I have to put merge them together...they go hand in hand.

Have this ever happened to you? To get a job, but worried not to be able to do it efficiently and not get along with people in the office? Right now, I have the feeling that I don't have anything thing in common with them...nothing...nada.

Also, I don't want to go home crying everyday, because surgeons won't be shy to give you shits if the OR schedule don't please them. I'm not paranoid or giving myself too much pression. It is true. I know that for a fact. I saw and heard with my very own eyes and ears. Worst...a surgeon once yelled at me for something not even in my tasks description. I can understand your frustration, but why can't you go see the person responsible instead of barking at the first person you see???

Anyway, I've also heard from others that the person who's in charge of the whole planning (the one who I am to replace whenever she goes on vacations) goes to the boss' office to cry. And my fear can also be justified by the last person (the one from who I'm taking over) changing position after only several months.

Ayayaaaah!!! Maybe I really should keep looking for another position.

One Step Closer

As I was complaining about my life going nowhere, I got a permanent position in the OR booking office. It might not be the job of my dream, but it'll serve at the mean time I keep looking for something better.

Starting today, at least, I have:
    - a stable schedule that won't get changed 5x a day and/or last minute.
    - a desk just for me. (time to bring in a picture frame, action figures, pens, hand cream, kleenex)
    - an extension if people want to reach me at work.
    - can bring a mug...with tea.
    - lots of snacks in my drawer.
    - a place to hang my coat and store my notes.

The only thing I'm missing/should ask for, is a better chair and a foot stool. I can never understand why people have to build such high desks...it is not short-people friendly.

Oh! There's another hitch, but I believe I can live with it. *crossing fingers* Afterall, I'm a better person with a high EQ, right?

Let this day be the day to start a wonderful career journey for me!!!

Mid-life Crisis

...or is it menopause slapping on my face?

If it's mid-life, then my life is not going to be very long is it?

Ayaaa!!!!

Comparing myself to other people of the same age, I've absolutely accomplished NOTHING. No career, no family, no car, no house, etc.

All I am is a lost soul floating in a Hospital...literally floating (my title is Administrative Agent/permanent float).

People around me try to cheer me up and keep me as positive as possible. They encourage me by saying how it is more convenient to live with my parents, so I can use the opportunity to save more money, and eventually move out; save more money and I travel while I can; it doesn't matter not to have a boyfriend, because I have them by my side; be patient and my chance will come at work.

Do you really think that I don't already know this? I try to convince myself to believe in these sayings and it is challenging. At the moment, all I truly want is a permanent and stable position with a better pay/something I deserve. I don't understand why companies put a higher emphasis on seniority than competence. In other words (if you have kids or planning to have kids), get their effing butt to work at the earliest age possible. A bachelor degree is not as valuable as it used to be. I'm the best example you can get. I keep applying for positions that I'm fully qualified (or even over-qualified), but no luck. I'm not even on their list of considerations, because I'm still too new. Seriously!?! When will someone finally open their eyes and see how much potentiel I have?

Siiigh!!! If I don't get a better position, I may consider looking somewhere else. I can't waste my entire life, here, hoping that one day miracle will hit on me. Afterall, I will never get to my second step (buying a house) if I can't earn a better paycheck.

So lets establish a plan and follow it:
    1. Get a better job/a higher income
    2. Get my driver's license
    3. Get my own nest
    4. Well~ The husband is not a necessity anymore.

I must follow the plan, but I definitely need to accelerate my pace if I want to get everything before I go to Heaven.

Are We Breathing The Same Air?

Up until today, I didn't know or have always denied the fact that a person can be of great cruelty/impoliteness...against another human. (No need to mention animal cruelty, which is well known to everyone.)

The situation is critical. Pointing fingers and giving barking orders are no behavior of a good leader. So, FAIL you...bitch...FIIITCH!

Oh! By the way, just in case nobody taught you this, it won't harm you to say thank you whenever someone does you a favor; and apologize whenever you are proven wrong. *sigh of disappointment* So peculiar that school and parents don't teach these social living knowledges anymore.

I don't know what to say anymore. I guess I can only shut my mouth and deal with it. Otherwise, they would think that I'm the one who has issues and will send me back for more orientations, instead of asking the other to say sorry. Pfff!!!!